Today was probably the best day I've ever had with my kids. We played and talked, cooked and cleaned together. The boys did "regular boy things" in the yard like chasing each other with branches and play in the pool water, each copying the other. Both looked and acted very typical and appropriate. It's so strange to chronicle my children's lives in these terms. For example: "copying" "appropriate" typical". I do not see them as irregular or delayed, just children that are happy. Kane is learning new words somewhat seamlessly and now Jack enjoys repeating them, and vice versa. Today, unlike many days I have - I kept my inhibition at bay and let myself go into this sort of state that allowed, even encouraged me to be the coolest mom ever. The coolest mom ever consists of taking every single opportunity throughout the day and creating an adventure, project, task or creative opportunity. Sometimes it's a song, a doodle, help with dropping ingredients into the soup pot, or playing vampires or the Grudge before bed. (don't be scared, they love it) I learned today that they need me, all of me all the time if I expect all of them. I can't just go about my day and let them alone to theirs expecting to be bonded like I always dreamed of. I have a rare opportunity to create waterproof bonds with my kids because I'm with them 24/7. In the beginning after Kane was born almost three years ago, it was really tough. I had so, so many responsibilities outside of motherhood. I think I didn't know at all what to do, or even where to start with jack's speech delay - let alone his autism to be diagnosed later that year.
Summarily, what I give them, is what I get. If I give my whole heart to them, they will give me theirs.
Being a mother is the toughest, longest, scariest, most amazing "job" and without my guys I'd have no idea how awesome I really am.
