How to Get Jack Back

Yesterday, Adrian and I made the journey to Tipperary, to meet Jean Muscroft. Jean is a registered, certified, trusted naturopathic doctor and dietician, and came highly recommended in the proactive autism world. She wanted to meet Jack in person, check out his nails, skin, behavior and temperament. Over the last week I filled out her 20 page questionnaire outlining Jack's health, illness, vaccines, allergies, treatments, etc from birth. 

Immediately following his diagnosis in late June, I started him on the gluten free, casein free diet.  His diet's very low sugar and very little processed foods other than a small bag of plain crisps ever so often. So, here is a menu sample:

Breakfast

2 Eggs scrambled with olive oil - grated courgettes or onion OR
1 Avocado pureed with 2 bananas and a sweet potato (this is his yogurt) OR
2-4 rice cakes with nut butter and a little maple syrup

Lunch/Dinner

Rice noodles with chicken and veggies sauteed OR 
Brown rice/Quinoa with lamb and veggies OR
Salmon with broccoli and rice pilaf (minced peppers, onion, garlic)

Snacks

coconut milk 
almond milk
pistachios

Juicing - 1 or 2 glasses per day
carrots, celery, cucumber, apples, spinach, kale


The issues we need to address with his diet are as follows:
1. Add more protein; even if it's pureed and added to his yogurt - it's more important that he get the protein than worry about him chewing (to develop motor functions of the mouth)
2. Purify water supply; our city water comes from the old system of pipes were leaking lead could possibly be an issue. Get a water filter jug asap and use that for everyone's water - this includes cooking with. 
3. Adding a few supplements; aloe vera juice, calcium, etc. A detailed outline of our meeting will arrive to me on Monday.
4. Pull back on the probiotic and see what happens over the weekend as Jack had a terrible weekend past herxing and stimming - probably due to candida (yeast) die off from the high count probiotic. Instead of this slow, plainful die off - Jean wants to get the test results back from his pee/poo labs and go from there. When we do this die off - it will be all in ONE week. It will be hell but it's got to be done, rather than dragging out for Jack. 
5. Lessen the amount of epsom salts in the bath but give every day instead of every other day, start with a spoonful and work up to two teacups each bath. Kane is encouraged to take these baths as well and also start taking the fish oil.
6. Stop the peanut butter, and start other nut butters - he had a lot of PB this weekend and stimmed like crazy. There is a mold issue with peanut butter that is not well known, causing allergic reactions that take the form of stimming for ASD kids.
7. Switch out his pillow to an allergy free, and get allergy free covers for his blankets and pillow. 

A few other issues:

ASD kids are sensitive to mold and our house in Dromadrehid was FULL of it. The house was so wet with condensation it dripped down the walls, and many rooms had mold growing up the ceilings. Jack lived there for a year with us, we moved in and he received his MMR only weeks later. We thought it might be an issue with the mold growth, and it turns out it was. 

Jack's MMR gave him severe reactions: within two weeks he developed stomatitis which is an awful, painful lesion virus in your mouth. It's a strain of the herpes virus. THEN, after just recovering from that, he picked up chicken pox. Another, herpes virus - just a different strain again. Dr. Jean believes there is a correlation between Jack's immune system, his autistic-like symptoms and these infections. His immune system could believe he is still fighting these viruses, possibly because they could still be present in his gut. (PUKE)

She also wants to address the issue with his skin - the many, many bumps on his arms and legs - almost pin like hard pimples. This is a fatty acid deficiency so the fat in protein like fish and the oils will help with this. 

She also wants an x-ray of his stomach done to make absolutely sure there are no blockages in his gut, we need Dr. Ralph to order that. He also needs to order a urine test for some deficiencies that could also be affecting his behavior. All those details of what to tell the doctor are coming in Monday's outline from Jean. 


These are photos of Jack before we moved to Ireland, he was around 6 months old...more later.

Whistleblower inside the CDC - Autism/Vaccine Link

So, this is happening....all these people claiming that vaccines have NOTHING to do with causing autism can go suck an egg. 

You were wrong! Our kids are sick, and this is only the beginning. I have inside sources directly in the middle of all this and it's coming down tomorrow. I can't wait!

A loss.

(Please do not read this post if you are squeamish about miscarriage, loss, or have a weak stomach for graphic details, you've been warned.)

Sadly, miscarriage is a taboo subject in our big world today and it affects 1 of 4 women, every single day.  I'm not going to hide this, it's already hard enough - we should all be able to talk freely about these things - loss is already terrible on it's own. There is no room for shame or embarrassment or guilt. 

For anyone that knows me well, I should have, and still may, become a doctor. I don't shy from injury or blood but rather have a respectful fascination for the human body and it's workings. We humans are really quite amazing  - our capacity to heal, change, adapt and create marvel me.

Last night, I delivered my 13 week old baby and with days of preparation, mentally and physically - it's still been one of the most difficult, sad days of my life. I started bleeding lightly last Thursday, worked all day on Friday feeling really good, then after sleeping in Saturday morning, I began to bleed and just felt it was over. Throughout the weekend I passed very large clots, seemingly what would be the baby and the surrounding tissue - though now looking back there wasn't nearly enough blood to warrant a true passing but I believed it so because of the contractions I felt. Little did I know -- these were very simple cramps not contractions - those came in waves of pounding pain last night for about 3 hours. I rang the midwife on call at the maternity hospital - she explained everything to me.

 Just as my feet and toenails grew very cold after my water broke with my first, Jack - it happened again last night. I knew I was in labor, I was having contractions every 2 minutes, with the waxing and waning of pain just as in full term labor. My god, I had no idea. Women do this for days - crazy town. Just completely insane. But it's worth it in the end because you get to hold your baby and your body goes into auto-repair mode, saturated in those lovely chemical reactions to labor, breastfeeding and bonding with your new little one. This does not happen when you miscarry - you feel awful and then your loss is right in front of you, lifeless. 

Around 9pm I got into the shower to clean up and knew something was happening - I felt a literal detachment inside me. I felt it. I can't describe how subtle it felt. It was like a simple string being pulled gently to release a little balloon and then the baby inside the sac, just came out. After this happened, all the pain subsided and I started to bleed a little. I felt a little shaky but mostly exhausted and groggy. I ate a little and fell asleep. 

Adrian was with me the whole time, holding my hand and rubbing my back and hugging me when he could between trips to the bathroom following contractions. I can tell he's devastated too but it wasn't meant to be this time. And we have two completely beautiful and wonderful sons that need us, I'm so grateful for them. Grateful in a way I've never felt before. Children are the light of the world, they show us how pure and simple love can be - how unconditional true love really is. 

I love you, baby - we all love you. Goodbye.

xxoo, momma

Kane

Kane, my blue-eyed beauty turns 1 year old in a few weeks. He is waving bye-bye/saying it at the same time already! My butter is a snuggle bunny, has the most hilarious dragon voice which he uses while roughing around with Jack. He's such a bright little boy and gives me so much hope for our family. I know he'll be the one trying to make everyone laugh by making silly faces or just being goofy. He's the first face I see every single morning and when we get up together,  I make him a bottle and myself coffee for our little hour of play time. It's honestly the most fun I have all day, this little hour with Kane. He loves passing a ball back and forth, and has started to point at things he likes. MOMMA LOVES YOU, KANE!

NO.

I just found out that Robin Williams killed himself. Can it be true? Really, utterly true? Can a man with such a vivid mind, full of emotion - clever as the night is long ---- can a person like that kill himself? He was so full of life, maybe it was too much life in one body - maybe he spilled over. I can't begin to understand how his daughter and wife must feel, how could you not know? How could he leave them? I have a lot of questions. I can't begin to even try to understand what's happening. 

How could he not realize that he'd be missing out on SO many things? How can you not care enough to wonder what's in the future - what about grandkids? What about anniversaries and birthdays? What about picnics and camping? What about dying with loved ones around you or using up your body and your mind until you've given everything you've got to this life? 

Suicide will forever more remain my ultimate bewilderment, I've felt pain and been severely depressed in my life. I've had someone try to do it in front of me. And it made me SO angry. How dare she try to share it with me, I wanted to live. Maybe it's a way of finally showing the world and all your loved ones in it -- that you are in true pain and there's no escape. Maybe you get tired? 

Whatever the reason he did it, I'm sick about it. I feel absolutely heartbroken. There's never been, and will ever be, another Robin Williams. *I hope you're resting well, bud.*

"Secret Weapon" for overall health....Garlic!

Allow me to please introduce my nasty love, garlic. Here's what you do:

1. Decide if you are a bad-ass (3 cloves) or not (1 clove)
2. Peel said clove(s)
3. Using a fork, press firmly over cloves to "mash" or "crush" cloves
4. Using a knife, chop mashed pieces into pill size shapes
5. WAIT 15 MINUTES for awesomeness to happen
6. After 15 minutes, place the garlic into your mouth, at the back of your throat (like you would with vitamins or pills) and drink down with water.
7. Enjoy the health benefits listed below - REPEAT DAILY

Garlic has been proven to retard the cancer cell development for lung, skin, breast and colon cancers - it's not necessarily a total cure (duh) but it definitely packs a punch.

By mashing or finely crushing the garlic, and waiting 15 minutes - a beautiful enzyme called allicin is made and this is the stuff of the gods. This enzyme is the cancer fighter - so let it rest.

Here's a little pro info from a doctor on garlic:

Garlic fights cancer in the lymphatic system - 
Why is solubility important? Because there are two circulatory systems in the human body, one for water-soluble solutions (the arterial/venous system) and one for fat or oil-soluble compounds (the lymphatic system). Since some cancer cells spread via the lymphatic system, that would seem to imply that some are oil-soluble and can be found by DADS or DATS via the lymphatic system. SAC can spread throughout the body to find cancer cells via the circulatory system, due to its water-solubility. If you can send compounds that retard the cellular division and, therefore, slow the growth of cancer cells into your body via both channels, you increase your chances of being able to control, or maybe slow down the rate of development of the cancer. It's good to know that garlic has both kinds of compounds. Garlic naturally has a high level of selenium, which has been shown to have anti-tumor properties also. 



Good luck and happy crushing!

xxoo

Oh, how I miss...

MY FAMILY. 

I haven't been home for over three years. I haven't hugged my mom or drank a beer with my dad--I haven't kissed my new niece, Elora or high-fived my brother, played cards and ate peanuts with my best friends for 1,110 days. 

So many things have happened back home, and also here to my new family in Ireland. I am completely grateful for the experience living here because I would NEVER have gotten it at home. It will change me forever, hopefully for the better. I'm sure for the better. 

It is not in vain -- I've learned how to fight. Fight for what I want. Fight to even find out what matters most. And what that is - is FAMILY. There is nothing like having people in your corner, blood that is everlasting -- people who get you and if they don't - they don't care how weird you dress or how what color your hair is. 

They care about your life -- what you're in to, what you do with your kids and how you spend your time. I miss them terribly - hope to come home soon. For good. I'll be putting all of it out - my plans, what I want, what I need, what concerns me and what I won't be doing when we return. 

*Below are some shots of my lovely family and some of the pictures they took of Jack when he was a baby.

Jill, xxxooo

Alisha's Grad Party (5 months pregnant with Jack)

Grandpa Dan with Elora Mae

Jackie Bear - 4 months old

Cara holding Jack at Cole and Melissa's Wedding

Mo's Bachlorette Party

Nan and Jack

Elora's Baptism

My Dad is the best <3

It could be worse....

                                    (bath time is the only real solace to be had during this last week) 

In Ireland they have "holidays"which is a standard time every year when you go away and vacation somewhere out the country. So, the daycare (creche) took their holidays from August 1st through the 19th and boy-oh-boy do they deserve it. Granted, they have a good number of children to care for but each room maintains a ratio of 1 to 3. One person to three kids, they are licensed, trained and backgrounded (garda vetted). I will never again take them for granted, because holy shit this is hard work. I don't know if it's just first trimester tiredness in combination with Adrian being gone editing for most of every day and night but I am basically a single mother right now because he absolutely has to get this work done. I feel for him, he gets no sleep and has to be on the phone all day long arranging everything for this production. I am cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, feeding/cleaning/bathing/entertaining/working also so it's been a rough week, to say the least. I'm SO tired by 9pm and proven to be worthless to anyone after the kids go to bed. I have started to line my stomach with anything sugar related, basically binge eating and then crash to sleep around 10 or 11pm. FUN! On a better note, at least my kids are healthy. I've started to juice for the boys to get going on this GAPS diet in prep for Jack's new diet but the timing couldn't be worse. Oh well, it always could be worse. RIGHT!?

The first post..

I had to find a space to get all this stuff out of me, down on "paper".....just out. I've got so much going on -- I can't really focus on grammar or interesting text right now. I feel like I need a mind dump before I can get back to myself again. What's been going lately -- well, my son, Jack, who is my first born son, was diagnosed with Autism in late June after years of dreadful wonder. We were told in so many words to push for a diagnosis and that he was, in fact, not autistic but just a late bloomer. He is nearly 4 now and still can't hold a conversation. Bringing him to public places filled with "typical" kids is heartbreaking. I FEEL his frustration - not just in his frustration but his eyes. He seems so sad that he can't control himself, and his stimming. Stimming is self stimuation that brings calm, happiness, and comfort to Jack when he's feeling any number of emotions. He can be excited, upset, tired, anything - where a typical kid might say things - like yay! or awesome! or fun! -- Jack stims. But, I am not going any deeper inside this pity party house - oh no. Because shit happens, and that's life. Period. You have two roads in front of you - give up or keep going and try to make things better. I want to say I'm devoting this space to help others -- blah, blah, blah. But that's not true - it's for me and my mind. My sanity. It will evolve and change, I hope into something I can be proud of and when I've recovered Jack and he's old enough to understand all that was involved --- I will show him. Until then, here we go...first of many posts. At least it's a beginning to an end. I have a Skype meeting tomorrow with a Dr. that specializes in recovering kids with ASD. I feel huge, necessary change coming and hope we can all get on board. (ADRIAN!)